Our vacation....

Here we are back again from the most wonderful vacation ever... and yes, we had a wonderful time, so blessed.... We walked on Florida beaches, boarded a wonderful city on the water known as the Emerald Princess, we laughed, we danced, we loved, we enjoyed our family, we talked of those who are no longer with us, we shared pictures of those that are, we rested, we stayed up late, we ate and ate and ate.... What a time we had...

I swam with a shark, tried to catch a sea turtle, I fed an iguana and a monkey, I allowed myself to be hypnotized on stage, acted a fool for many, we danced on deck, I reconnected again with the man I pledged to love until the end of time, watched many sunsets, a few sunrises, rafted down a river in the rain forest, loved it when the tropical rain came down, watched the deck attendents clean up some poor souls mess, while we plugged our noses and laughed with sick humor, swam to a hidden waterfall, soaked in hot springs that smelled of sulfur, watched my bro in law win the Karaoke contest as we ran around the bar holding signs that read "whos your daddy".

Every day on my long planned, expensive, much anticipated vacation I would count the number of days I had left, and when we were down to the last few they were filled with not only fun but a sense of the sadness coming knowing it was soon to be over. I truly wonder how much joy I missed by being so concerned with how soon it would end. It saddened me as I boarded the plane that instead of being so grateful to my Lord for this incredible trip, a trip that many will never have the chance to do for many reasons, I was instead, preoccupied with it being too quickly over. I forgot to be thankful for the opportunity to experience such a blessed time. I had to ask forgiveness for my unthankful heart...instead of worrying about it being over I should have each day woke up full of thankfulness in my heart that I was there, with a man who adores me, and a family who loves me.... I didnt and I am again, humbled by my humanity...

Arid...

How to start this blog, I have started it time and time again. I feel it so necessary to write but unsure of the words, or where to begin. So honesty is where Ill start. For many valid reasons I have missed church for about a month and a half... Always something, mostly my work schedule which I allowed, our vacation and other less worthy reasons. Not only have I missed church but missed our life group meetings as well. So in fact I had not attended anything with believers for a very long time. I stand in awe at the folks that can have a strong spiritual life without church, I for one cannot.

So back from vacation, we went to church last Sunday, I felt a desperation, not afraid to go, just desperate to go, I longed for that touch that only Christ can give. We walked into the sanctuary, I felt the touch of the King, the daddy, my Lord and Savior, so personally, so powerfully, so sweet, honest and loving. No condemnation for being away so long, no anger, maybe a hint of sadness for the emptiness He knew I was feeling, the shell that is me depleted of all that is Him. Without Him I am nothing but a hard mound of flesh, full of all things bad, however when He fills this person I am, goodness runs freely. I am truly nothing, all things good in me are indeed from Him.

The touch that day, throughout that service, the tears ran down my face as I felt the acceptance once again, as I reconnected with my life blood, the one who comforts me, the one who assures me that all is well with my soul. The only way to describe my human condition that day is arid, arid means dry, dry as a bone, severe lack of available water, cold dry human flesh surrounds me but when Christ dwells in me all is made new, I am filled with the sweet life giving water found only in Him. I am alive in Him, dead when I stand alone. I praise Him who again resurrected me from the dead.... Thank you my Jesus for saving me from myself again and again...

Yours for always,

Your little girl loves you....